Short Skirt, Long Jacket
by Shinju Meg Uchuno
Summary: Wufei tells Quatre what his dream woman would be like... in song. Complete insane vid-fic that includs dancing Heero, Trowa and Duo. R&R minna-san!


Shinju: Oh man
    
    Shinju: Oh man! It's been over three months since I posted something here!
    
     
    
    Kyuki: You took a summer hiatus and didn't tell anyone, didn't you?
    
     
    
    Shinju: Uh... well...
    
     
    
    Kyuki: Great, just perfect. Do you know how backed up for idea's we are?! And you still have to finish two chaptered fics!
    
     
    
    Shinju: Sorry Kyu-boy.
    
     
    
    Kyuki::sigh:: It's okay. I just wish you would of told me.
    
     
    
    Shinju::glares:: I just wish you would of told me where you went for the last few weeks.
    
     
    
    Kyuki: Uh... Greece.
    
     
    
    Shinju: Uh-huh. And you didn't tell me?
    
     
    
    Kyuki::shouts:: Fine! Okay! I'm just as bad as you! Now, if you excuse me, I have a disclaimer to do!
    
     
    
    **The Disclaimer**
    
     
    
    The characters from Gundam Wing do no belong to Shinju Meg Uchuno. Neither does the song 'Short Skirt Long Jacket'. That's song is by Cake. If you flame Shinju, harm will undoubtedly be-fall your sorry ass.
    
     
    
    Shinju: Thanks Kyuki.
    
     
    
    Kyuki::sigh:: You're welcome, Shinju.
    
     
    
    Shinju::turns to her audience:: Well minna-san, this vid-fic is about Wufei talking about his dream onna. ::grins:: This should be good! Kyuki! Lights, camara and action!
    
     
    
    Kyuki::sighs and shakes his head::
    
    _______________________________________________________________________
    
     
    
    **Short Skirt Long Jacket**
    
    ** **
    
    [ Wufei is sitting in his office at Preventer HQ. He absentmindedly spins around in his chair, bored as hell. Duo walks by his door, Hilde hanging off his arm giggling. Wufei sighs. ]
    
     
    
    Wufei: It might be nice to have a girlfriend.
    
     
    
    [ Quatre overhears his Chinese friend and pokes his head in, startling
    
    Wufei. ]
    
     
    
    Quatre: Maybe I can help. What kind of girl do you want?
    
     
    
    Wufei::laughs:: What I want?
    
     
    
    [ A saxophone starts to play out of no where and Quatre turns around quickly, looking for the source of the music. A bass guitar beat follows after the saxophone. Wufei gets up from his chair and, surprisingly, starts to sing. ]
    
     
    
    Wufei: I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
    
    I want a girl who knows what's best
    
    I want a girl with shoes that cut
    
    And eyes that burn like cigarettes
    
     
    
    Quatre: Uh... I don't think I know anyone like that...
    
     
    
    [ Wufei scowls and turns to look out his window. ]
    
     
    
    Wufei: I want a girl with the right allocations
    
    Who is fast and thorough and sharp as a tack
    
    She's playing with her jewelry
    
    She's putting up her hair
    
    She touring the facility and pickin' up slack
    
    I want a girl with a short skirt and long jacket...
    
     
    
    [ The music stops for a second and Quatre blinks. ]
    
     
    
    Quatre: What the...?
    
     
    
    [ He is stopped when the music returns. The blond boy can only stare when Wufei walks out the door and into the hallway, doing a little dance. Heero, Duo and Trowa appear behind him, copying his every move. ]
    
     
    
    Wufei: I want a girl who gets up early
    
     
    
    Heero, Duo and Trowa: Get's up early!
    
     
    
    Wufei: I want a girl who stays up late
    
     
    
    Heero, Duo and Trowa: Stays up late!
    
     
    
    Wufei: I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
    
     
    
    Heero, Duo and Trowa: Uninterrupted!
    
     
    
    Wufei: Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
    
     
    
    [ Wufei enters the elevator and Heero, Duo and Trowa dance in after him. Quatre shrugs and decides to follow them. They all get off at the ground floor and continue to dance. Quatre shakes his head and sweatdrops. ]
    
     
    
    Wufei: With fingernails that shine like justice
    
    And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
    
    She is fast and thorough and sharp as a tack
    
    She touring the facility and pickin' up slack
    
    I want a girl with a short skirt and long, long jacket...
    
     
    
    [ Heero, Duo and Trowa start chanting 'na na na na na na' over and over as they follow Wufei out into the street. The Chinese teen makes his way to the bank in the middle of the city and sits down on a bench outside of it. Heero, Duo and Trowa ( still dancing ) stand behind it.]
    
     
    
    Wufei: I want a girl with a smooth liquidation
    
     
    
    Heero, Duo and Trowa: Smooth liquidation!
    
     
    
    Wufei: I want a girl with good dividends
    
     
    
    Heero, Duo and Trowa: Good dividends!
    
     
    
    Wufei: At citybank we will meet accidentally
    
     
    
    Heero, Duo and Trowa: Meet accidentally!
    
     
    
    Wufei: We'll start to talk when she borrows my pen
    
     
    
    [ Suddenly, a woman in Stiletto's and a long brown jacket with a tight black mini-skirt walks into the bank. Wufei's eyes go wide, as do Quatre's. He gets up and follows her inside. Heero, Duo and Trowa all look at each other and shrug. Quatre decides to follow his justice-loving friend. ]
    
     
    
    Wufei: She wants a car with a cupholder arm-rest
    
     
    
    [ Wufei looks frantically for the woman he just saw, but doesn't see her. He scowls until he spots the woman getting into an elevator. Wufei gasps and runs to catch it. The door slams shut in front of his face. In an annoyed fashion, Wufei pounds the 'up' button and waits for the elevator to return. ]
    
     
    
    Wufei: She wants a car that will get her there
    
    She's changing her name from Kitty to Karen
    
    She's trading her MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron
    
     
    
    [ He finally gets into the elevator and Quatre joins him. The wait until they get to the top floor and then they get off. Wufei runs down the hall, looking for the woman of his dreams. He spies the woman near the water cooler. He runs over just as she turns around to face him. The music skips a beat and quickly dies. ]
    
     
    
    Wufei: I want a girl with a short skirt and long jacket...?!
    
     
    
    [ The woman turns and looks at Wufei with a mixture of shock and joy. ]
    
     
    
    Sally: Hey Wufei.
    
     
    
    Wufei: On...on... onna?!
    
     
    
    Quatre: You look... nice, Miss Sally.
    
     
    
    Sally: Thanks. This is a new outfit.
    
     
    
    [ Sally spins around to show them to outfit and Wufei gets a glazed look in his eyes. He grins dumbly. ]
    
     
    
    Wufei: New outfit pretty.
    
     
    
    [ Sally looks at Wufei with a raised eyebrow until she figures out whats wrong with him. She laughs and smiles at Wufei. She then grabs his arm. ]
    
     
    
    Sally: What do you say you and me visit the janitor's closet here?
    
     
    
    Wufei: Yes!
    
     
    
    [ Both walk away and quickly exit into a closet. Curios to what has happened, Quatre leans on the closet door and tries to hear what is going on inside. His eyes grow wide, blood trickles out his nose and he jumps back from the door. ]
    
     
    
    Quatre: Aieee!
    
     
    
    [ Outside, Heero and Trowa sit on the bench looking bored while Duo eats his 16th hotdog from a nearby vendor. Suddenly, Quatre runs out of the building holding his nose while blood drips out. ]
    
     
    
    Quatre: Holy Allah!
    
     
    
    [ Quatre runs like hell back to the Preventor office. Heero and Trowa look on with their usual masks of indifference. Duo comes bouncing over. ]
    
     
    
    Duo: I wonder what got Quatre in such a state. Maybe Wufei punched him? What was that girl, anyway?
    
     
    
    Trowa::shrugs::
    
    _______________________________________________________________________
    
     
    
    Kyuki: Well now. That was twisted.
    
     
    
    Shinju: That was awesome! I loved it! I'm back to being an authoress!
    
     
    
    Kyuki::rolls eyes:: Oh joy.
    
     
    
    Shinju: Great, huh?
    
     
    
    Kyuki: Glorious. Just fantastic. ::shakes his head:: This is going to be one long school year if Shinju keeps writing. I'm gonna need to stock up on Aspirin. I wonder if the Aspirin company gives discounts to muses...
    
     
    
    Shinju::laughs::
    
     
    
    Kyuki::glares:: Anyway, honorable readers... please review this work on fiction... while I go find some Aspirin. I feel a migraine coming on.


End file.
